So this year has definitely been an emotional battle for me, coming back coping with my family situation!! Thanks to the special people, who said I could fight through this, all that moral support have played it’s part..
So how did I cope with it all, for the first part of the year, I just ignored the fact that my father was sick.. I was in complete denial… The denial hit at the faci wrap session in Singapore over Christmas, I heard Francois share a story of why he was here, and I just broke down.
The tears flooded my eyes, and for the first time since I got back from Vancouver, I spent time with myself, I questioned myself alot during that trip what I was doing, and where I wanted to be, and how I wanted to support my father. All questions had no response…
But thats life, sometimes there is no answer, but we still live through it..
Out of confusion of life, and I guess expectation I decide to run for MCP.. It was overwhelming finding out some of the politics behind every story. Im proud I didnt participate in all of it…
I prayed, and the the results were a blessing…
Next thing I knew I was in Morocco for MENA LDs, I cant even begin to express what I felt in that conference. Out of all the international experiences, I have never been moved so much. As an Arab woman, I have never seen so many Arabs in one place! I have never really felt that our region could be any better than what it is. But there I really believed! I believed again in my region, and my world!
I come back, and reality hits me again, and I had forgotten what I had just rediscovered. But something better came along, a person who reminded me of the things I used to enjoy… I got lost in more questioning, where I asked myself who am I? who have I become? Where do I want to go?
Oddly enough I had no words to describe myself!
I also decided to spend yet another year in AIESEC, I guess the feelings from MENA woudnt go away, and I applied and am elected for the new Middle East North Africa(MENA) Growth Network Project Manager.
The journey starts within yourself.. Throughout this year, I guess I forgot that..
“If you don’t know who you are, how do you expect somebody else to know you”