I love birthdays! Especially this week because it is my birthday week! Every year I send an email with my updates and this year I wanted to add something special. My dear friend Radu is always asking for my drug of being happy so this year I am sharing my happiness drug with you.
I love birthdays, not only because everyone gets a ridiculous amount of love, from what seems like a kazillion phone calls, texts, facebook, tweets, vibers, etc but because it’s a great time to take a step back to reflect back on what worked? What didn’t? Set adventures, decide big financial and career commitments and of course celebrate friendships and the fantabulous year to come.
A bit of the background of why I wanted to share my drug of happiness with you. Last year I was with Ricardo on his birthday and realized that not everyone approached birthdays like I did. He was not looking forward to the year and a big part because he had nothing to look forward too. I challenged him by asking some simple questions that had a huge impact on his life, and I wanted to share that magic with you.
So why does my opinion matter… Well it really doesn’t really, it’s just one more opinion but I do live an extraordinary life and every year, its get better. If you are not truly happy with where you are right now and looking to a live an extraordinary life yourself, then you might want to look at this with an open mind.
My 5 Ingredients to Make Your Own Happiness Drug:
Now this it the most important component. Life is really about the context you set for yourself. Last year I started my birthday conquering my fear of heights by jumping out a plane at 4000 ft., and if you can imagine the exhilaration of doing that. I couldn’t sleep that night because of the adrenaline rush (you can relive with me the experience by watching it here).
Now, I’m not telling you to jump out of a plane for your birthday but try doing something that scares you. Really scares you, maybe its asking your boss about what you need to do to get promotion or a pay raise, speaking in front of an audience, approaching more clients or just telling someone how you feel about them. You have to create that state of mind, where you feel that adrenaline that nothing seems impossible. So when you think or say “I can’t do that do…” or my personal favorite “this is just the way I am” this is you triggering your mindset and your context of what you can and cannot do.
So, for setting your context, ask yourself: How do I want to approach this year? Do I want to be scared? Do I want to be brave? Do I want to be strong? Do I want loving and kind? Do I want to achieve a little or a lot? The beauty is there is no right or wrong answer. It’s just you and your stage.
2. Be clear on what you want:
Now most people are not clear on what they want and research shows that its because they focus more on things like, “I don’t like this or I don’t like that” or the gossip, details that make no difference, but how many times do you say to yourself “I want to do/have/etc…” People are afraid to say what they want because they are not sure they can get it.
I won’t lie, it is hard and it is scary, but time is the ONLY thing we can never get back. Don’t waste your time being afraid; always ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen? More times, you will realize its not going to be the end of the world.
A lot of the time if you want to know the answers you just needs to ask yourself. The process of asking can be exhilarating, frightening and empowering because it gets you clear, sorted and allows you to close things off and focus on other things. If you cant do it by yourself, get a friend to ask you these questions.
- When your 90 looking back at your life, what would you like to share with a friend?
- Did you live? Did you love? Did you matter? (Brendon Burchard, author/speaker)
3. Set Crazy Goals:
Once you are clear on what the bigger picture on what you want… you need to set some crazy goals for your birthday year. Now it’s not enough just to say them you need to believe you can do them.
This past year I ended up visiting to 10 countries, ticked some big and small things off my bucket list which included:
- Canoeing with seals in the gorgeous mountains of Scotland
- Had the honor to be part of the bridal shower and watch my sister Muthoni get hitched to gorgeous Peter and conquered Mount Kenya
- Completed my first Sprint Triathlon
- Watched my favorite artists Nneka and Eryabak Badu live
- Organized the world’s first Global Competition on Alternative Finance
- Saw one of my favorite cousin Boudi graduate
- Went to a spiritual pilgrimage in Saudi Arabia
- Spoke at a bunch of international conferences from the largest conference for women called WIN and including TEDxWomen, which was awesome
- And the best I have shifted full time to work on 1-1 and group coaching through my business Transpiral.
Ask Yourself: Now looking back on your notes from the previous section: What are the 3 things that I would love to do in the next 3 months? Not more, because although we are super heroes our brains cant keep up with more than three.
4. Make a plan:
If you want to make it rigid, go ahead, but in the end you just need to have a way to get there. It may be a mind map, a one page document that clearly identify the main stepping stones on how to get to where you want to get to.
Ask Yourself: What will the goal look and feel like it once I have achieved it? When do I want to achieve it by? Who do I want to have with me? What do I need to do to get that in goal in the specific time frame? Do I need help? What do I need to research?
5. Start Today:
Don’t wait till next week, or next month, start to work towards what you want to now. Tell the 5 people who matter most in your life what you plan on doing and get you to hold you accountable. If you are still struggling to do that, you might want to work with me I work with clients over 3 months where we work together to get clear, to dream big, and to achieve their dreams through their ideal lifestyle business. If that sounds like something you like, you can email me at email@example.com. If you know someone who needs this, forward him or her this email.
I recently saw a photo of myself a decade a go and I realize I might be wiser than I was then but I still make mistakes but luckily I learn from them.
Great day and good luck finding your drug to happiness
Many Dreams. Much Love. Lot of Respect.