When I was a kid, and heard this expression “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold.” I took it seriously and although it was hard for me to let someone really get to know me, once they did, I thought they would be there till we were old.
And as a result I’m blessed to have such wonderful life long friends that I can count with both my hands. Those people are the ones who continue to inspire me to do things a little better each day. Everyone needs to have a powerpossy of positivity and inspiration. But the more I travel, the more I realize its impossible to keep in touch with everyone.
People get married, working on new businesses and work their way up the corporate and at first I felt frustrated realizing I couldn’t keep in touch with people who had played such a fundamental role in life. But then my friend Mai told me something that really resonated she said, “Everyone comes into your life for a reason, even if it’s for a moment or even just a second. Their impact will remain part of your learning journey.”
No matter, how old we are or continue to become, it’s always a sad time when you realize that a friendship, which was so important to you, has expired. Drifting away is normal and losing touch is inevitable. It’s naïve to think otherwise, like relationships its really survival of the fittest where some work out and some don’t.
To avoid the disappointments, an easy way to guide you is to think that “They key to successful relationship or friendship is that the feelings are mutual, both people need care about one another and are committed to work on it.” Just because you were friends one day doesn’t mean you will always be friends. Its easy to start to blame yourself sometimes, especially if you were committing more than the other, but here are three tips to avoid getting disappointed in the future:
1. Be clear on the kind of friends you want to have
Think of the impression “do to others what you want done to you”. Therefore you need to define whats important to you in a friendship/relationship. If you want friends who are there for you thick and thin, you need to be willing to be there for them too. If you are looking for an authentic friendship, you need to be authentic yourself. If you are looking for the party crowd and nothing more than just do that.
2. Realize that there are several kinds of friendship
There are different types of friendships. From acquaintances, which are short-term friendships, work friendships, to mid-term friendships of a couple of years because perhaps you are living in a certain location, to long-term, and lifelong friendships (my personal favorite). Not everyone will fit into one category identify early on where they fit for you and how they see your friendship.
3. Acknowledge its not possible for everyone to be your friend
There are 6 billion people in this world, we are limited to 365 days a year, 2920 hours of which we are sleeping, 2920 hours of which we are working and 2920 hours of which we have to do laundry, house work, kids, relationships, sports, commuting, etc. That’s only about 8 hours a day. So realize what’s important and commit to the people who are important to you.
